I am very sure that your visits mean the world to her. If it is comfortable to her, don’t hesitate to touch — a hand and maybe a forearm. And remind her that you think about her — lots, and do so. Your relationship with Bebe will change, but her spirit will remain there to be discovered and cherished.
Music is a great way to stir memories. You mentioned technology challenges, Find a boombox/ radio and put a colorful stamp on the on off button. Play her favorites when your there. And remember that might be the Beatles or the
Stones, show her that she only needs to push the stamp for music. I hope it helps and thank you for caring.
Hi Zach, first you are a great grandson. I am 74 and had to go thru this many times with my older relatives. Nursing home facilities suck. I vowed 20 years ago to do something before I ended up there. Well the 20 years have passed and nothing has changed. More money needs to allocated for in home care as that is the best. Good luck and keep visiting her when you can. Also, ask and record her oral history. Now is the time and she may enjoy it.
Every situation is different, but what I learned from my own aging loved ones is to live in the moment. Laugh at all of the jokes as if it is the first time to hear them. Time is priceless and love is eternal.
I’ve not been in your situation with Bebe. So I don’t know how practical my suggestions might be. But if she enjoys putting jigsaw puzzles together, I suggest you start there. Also encourage her to take part in activities that the facility offers. Good luck!
It helps my mother in law. She has early stage dementia but still lives in her own. Studies have indicated that working puzzles keeps the brain working.
Zach, I'm 82 and I just spent a week in the hospital (for a successful surgery), so my heart goes out to Bebe. Oh, the infantilizing, chirrupy staff, the utter lack of privacy, the loss of agency. The part that seems to me the easiest to counter is the terrible tasteless food. If there's no way for Bebe to cook for herself, you could bring her takeout or cook for her yourself. A good meatball is worth a thousand jigsaw puzzles. Salt! My kingdom for a salt shaker!
What about a digital picture frame? Load photos of family, places she's traveled, fun times together. Add to it regularly to keep it interesting. It will also provide topics of conversation. "Remember that time we...?"
I feel for you, I know how the story goes. My mom's 98 and independent for now but gave up driving finally. I work with seniors and I'm working with a stroke victim right now who can't talk, but you turn on "her music" and she can still sing. So that's my advice, make sure she's got music going because it will bring her memories rushing back and she can probably still dance, maybe somebody should watch her do that so she doesn't fall, but there's no easy answers. defined her music, add 12 to 18 years to her birthdate and that will be "her music." it will amaze you!
Zach, you are a special young man and a blessing to her. Make her a card and put your picture in it for her room. Find a saying that reminds you of her or that she has said to you since childhood.
For puzzles, try the 300 count larger piece puzzles. They are less straining on the eyes and can be completed faster, giving a feeling of accomplishment. See if the center has a community center with a puzzle exchange. If not, maybe she can start one. It might be a good way for her to make a friend too.
A touching story, Zach. Well done. Your empathy serves as a role model.
I am very sure that your visits mean the world to her. If it is comfortable to her, don’t hesitate to touch — a hand and maybe a forearm. And remind her that you think about her — lots, and do so. Your relationship with Bebe will change, but her spirit will remain there to be discovered and cherished.
Music is a great way to stir memories. You mentioned technology challenges, Find a boombox/ radio and put a colorful stamp on the on off button. Play her favorites when your there. And remember that might be the Beatles or the
Stones, show her that she only needs to push the stamp for music. I hope it helps and thank you for caring.
Hi Zach, first you are a great grandson. I am 74 and had to go thru this many times with my older relatives. Nursing home facilities suck. I vowed 20 years ago to do something before I ended up there. Well the 20 years have passed and nothing has changed. More money needs to allocated for in home care as that is the best. Good luck and keep visiting her when you can. Also, ask and record her oral history. Now is the time and she may enjoy it.
Every situation is different, but what I learned from my own aging loved ones is to live in the moment. Laugh at all of the jokes as if it is the first time to hear them. Time is priceless and love is eternal.
I’ve not been in your situation with Bebe. So I don’t know how practical my suggestions might be. But if she enjoys putting jigsaw puzzles together, I suggest you start there. Also encourage her to take part in activities that the facility offers. Good luck!
I appreciate your advice, Ms. Harwell. Games and puzzles are always fun.
It helps my mother in law. She has early stage dementia but still lives in her own. Studies have indicated that working puzzles keeps the brain working.
Zach, I'm 82 and I just spent a week in the hospital (for a successful surgery), so my heart goes out to Bebe. Oh, the infantilizing, chirrupy staff, the utter lack of privacy, the loss of agency. The part that seems to me the easiest to counter is the terrible tasteless food. If there's no way for Bebe to cook for herself, you could bring her takeout or cook for her yourself. A good meatball is worth a thousand jigsaw puzzles. Salt! My kingdom for a salt shaker!
What about a digital picture frame? Load photos of family, places she's traveled, fun times together. Add to it regularly to keep it interesting. It will also provide topics of conversation. "Remember that time we...?"
Music. Often music unlocks memories. Finding her favorite songs & making “Bebe’s playlist” can be a lasting bonding experience.
I feel for you, I know how the story goes. My mom's 98 and independent for now but gave up driving finally. I work with seniors and I'm working with a stroke victim right now who can't talk, but you turn on "her music" and she can still sing. So that's my advice, make sure she's got music going because it will bring her memories rushing back and she can probably still dance, maybe somebody should watch her do that so she doesn't fall, but there's no easy answers. defined her music, add 12 to 18 years to her birthdate and that will be "her music." it will amaze you!
Zach, you are a special young man and a blessing to her. Make her a card and put your picture in it for her room. Find a saying that reminds you of her or that she has said to you since childhood.
What is her passion? Try to find a way for her to engage with it.
For puzzles, try the 300 count larger piece puzzles. They are less straining on the eyes and can be completed faster, giving a feeling of accomplishment. See if the center has a community center with a puzzle exchange. If not, maybe she can start one. It might be a good way for her to make a friend too.